I wrote this on May 5th, shortly after learning that unemployment was imminent. Imminent apparently means something different in corporatese, because it took five weeks and a handful of days to make it actually happen. That was enough time for me to not only come to terms with what was happening (and yes, I believe I did go through the five stages of grief) but actually look forward to it (more on why later). But I still think this is funny, so I’m posting it now.
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If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my bedroom, curled up in the fetal position, clutching a bottle of cheap gin, slurring along to R.E.M.’s Reckoning before passing out drifting off to a deep yet troubled sleep.
Wake me when I have a new job.
